She awakes at dawn ‘neath bright blue skies,
Her love there beside her with still closed eyes.
She thought till now that love was not her gift.
Thankful, she praised the heavens with closed eyes.
With dawn, her love stirred and roused with sighs,
Memories of night flashed behind closed eyes.
Their love entangled them both once again.
Beyond morning’s end, they’d spend with closed eyes.
Into the evening, they worship this gift.
Passion rushed, energy spent, now closed eyes.
– Written for Jane Dougherty Writes, Poetry challenge #44: Ghazal. Prompt word “Dawn.” Photo from Pexels.com. This attempt, it appears, was missing an important part of the form. There should have been an inline rhyme preceding the refrain. See the updated version here.
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Lovely poem. I do like your refrain. It is a tough form to tackle. There’s something in the way the Shadow Poetry site explains how to do it that leads to confusion. It seems that the part that explains the hardest bit of all is not coming over—that there is an in-line rhyme on the word that precedes the refrain in each stanza. That makes the ghazal REALLY hard 🙂
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Fixed it! 🙂
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I missed that! Sheesh.
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So beautiful. So powerful. Reminds of the passion and realiness of She Walks In Beauty by Lord Baron.
Marvelous!
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Thank you! Quite the compliment.
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