If You Can’t Stand The Heat Get Off The Planet

The last of the ozone layer dissipated but by this time, no one remained alive on Earth to see the final phase of planetary destruction. The few of us carefully selected to salvage the human race, watched from afar.

23667749481_30c2525f13_h– Written for Grammar Ghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 #63. Question prompt, “Why is it so hot here?” WC 39. Image by Kevin Gill. “If You Can’t Stand The Heat Get Off The Planet” won 1st place in this contest.



I arrived at the zoo, incognito, and followed signs to the aviary. The staff escorted me into the enclosure for the Arbor Day event. A conservation group organized it to raise awareness about humanity’s impact on Earth.

The itchy wig was necessary. My favorite diva-shades helped disguise large almond-shaped eyes, and the “Keep the planet clean, it’s not Uranus!” t-shirt was sure to avert suspicion.

A lecture about responsibility to the planet and its animal inhabitants preceded a meditative time to commune with nature, during which I snacked on Parakeets and stuffed a Macaw in my knapsack.

Being a celebrity on my planet afforded me exotic experiences, including cosmic delicacies.

– Written for Microcosms 18 weekly contest. Related to Arbor Day with prompts celebrity/zoo/comedy. WC 110. Photo by Eric Kilby. “Epicurean” won Judges Pick for this contest.